/u/[deleted]'s posts in /r/TwoSentenceHorror

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Only show posts with narrations

Despite common belief, avocado pits are perfectly edible.

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He's such a good listener now,

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Took a long time but I got rid of the monster under my bed by pulling out all its squishy insides with my toy sword.

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"Mommy, Daddy" the girl yelled excitedly, "I found a big barbie doll."

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"Mommy wasn't adding flour to the cake mix, so I did when she was getting eggs from the store."

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"You can't fire me, I quit!" I yelled.

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I don't know which is worse, finding out that pig flesh is quite like human flesh.

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"Shocking you the old way would be too little, you deserve the cord to be directly inside of your perverted, wicked brain."

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“911, what’s your emergency ?”

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I woke up in surgery, with my surgery bear.

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Title	Upvotes	Mark as read	Favorited	Rating	Add to a list
Despite common belief, avocado pits are perfectly edible.	12
He's such a good listener now,	12
Took a long time but I got rid of the monster under my bed by pulling out all its squishy insides with my toy sword.	12
"Mommy, Daddy" the girl yelled excitedly, "I found a big barbie doll."	12
"Mommy wasn't adding flour to the cake mix, so I did when she was getting eggs from the store."	12
"You can't fire me, I quit!" I yelled.	12
I don't know which is worse, finding out that pig flesh is quite like human flesh.	12
"Shocking you the old way would be too little, you deserve the cord to be directly inside of your perverted, wicked brain."	12
“911, what’s your emergency ?”	12
I woke up in surgery, with my surgery bear.	12